i can't say the words out loud (so in a rhyme i wrote you down)
by ASongInMyHead
Summary: The Promised Day would arrive with the morning sun, but there were still a few hours left in the night


The safe house was drafty when Riza unlocked the door and stepped inside. Roy went in behind her, followed by Heymans and then Kain, who dumped his duffle bag on the floor with a sigh.

"Get some rest, men," Roy said. "We've got six hours until sunrise."

Riza watched as Kain and Heymans slumped to the bedrooms without complaint, exhausted and anxious for what was to come in the morning. She locked the door, and set the keys down on the kitchen table, along with her guns. When she looked up, she was surprised to see Roy staring at her intently.

"It's been a while since we've seen each other, Lieutenant," he said a little sheepishly, as if he was embarrassed to be caught.

Riza smiled knowingly. "Yes, sir. But it seems that things are going smoothly so far."

"Careful, Hawkeye," he warned. "You'll jinx us."

"Have a little faith, Colonel," she said dryly.

"Oh, believe me, I do," he said. He pulled off his gloves and set them on the table beside her guns. "But really, Hawkeye, you spent months under Bradley. I was worried for you."

Riza watched as he closed the curtains by the window, shielding the safe house from prying eyes. She had no idea how to respond. Their language had always been one of codes; of eye contact; of unspoken words. Feelings—emotions— were a language that had long since been forbidden.

"It wasn't so bad," she told him, proud of the strength in her voice. "I always knew that you'd bring us all back in the end."

Roy turned from the window, his dark eyes burning into hers. "I know you."

As if of their own volition, her feet stepped forward. "Sir?"

"You're lying, Hawkeye," his voice was soft in a way she rarely heard. He stepped forward too, closing the distance between them, and Riza swallowed.

"What does it matter, sir?" blood pounded in her ears as she placed a hand on his arm. A simple gesture, yet not at all. "It's over now. And no matter what happens tomorrow, everything will change. The rules… the rules have been unwritten."

It was true, she realized as soon as she said it. For years, they had been on solid ground, but the world was changing, and they were standing on the precipice of the unknown.

"Yes," she could feel his breath on her face. "They have been."

She had known what was coming, and yet the press of his lips sent ripples of shock down her body. It was a chaste kiss, a sweet kiss, their first kiss.

"I," Roy said as he pulled away, "have wanted to do that for more than fifteen years."

Her hands ghosted across his face. "Then show me more."

She pulled him closer and kissed him deeply. His lips still tasted of the whiskey he had shared with Madame Christmas before they had blown up the bar and she fought the moan that threatened to break through her lips.

"We should—" she broke off and her eyes flickered towards the bedrooms that Heymans and Kain had disappeared into.

"Yeah," Roy's eyes didn't leave her as she pulled him into the bedroom at the end of the hall. She kicked the door closed when they went inside and pulled him closer by his jacket. Her lips met Roy's again, and he fumbled with the clip in her hair as they kissed, until it tumbled to the floor and her hair shook loose. Riza pulled off his jacket and let it fall to the floor. She trailed her fingers down the buttons of his shirt and tilted her head at him. He smiled in response and she slowly undid the buttons, letting him shrug out of the garment. His skin was hot against her touch as her fingers explored the hard plane of his chest. She stopped when she reached the rough scar tissue at his side. Suddenly, she was back in the laboratory on her knees, screaming and shooting until every bullet was spent— wasted on an immortal monster.

Roy placed his hand on hers, pulling her back. "It's fine. I'm here, aren't I?"

She blinked slowly and allowed herself to smile. "You are."

Roy shrugged the jacket from her shoulders and helped her pull her shirt over her head. His hand palmed her breasts over her bra and she moaned into his kiss. He pulled away, his eyes nearly bashful, and unhooked the bra, dropping it to the floor. He wrapped his arms around her and suddenly froze. She sighed as his fingers brushed against her scars. She drew her head back and tried to meet his eyes but he was staring past her, eyes flickering and full of memories.

"Hey," Riza said firmly. "I'm right here, remember? Stay with me."

He looked back at her and his face softened. "Always."

She pulled away from him to shimmy out of her trousers and then threaded her hands in his hair, kissing him hard. He moaned as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. His hands trailed up to her breasts and she flinched as he rubbed his thumbs against her hard nipples.

He pulled back, uncertainty written across his face. "Is that alright?"

"Yes," she huffed, feeling her cheeks flush. "They're just… sensitive."

He grinned wickedly bent down, kissing the space between her breasts. She gasped as his tongue swirled her nipple and the hot pulse between her legs mirrored the quickened beating of her heart. She hummed and shifted her thighs together, desperate for contact. Never missing a thing, Roy's hand slid up her thigh and pressed up against her underwear.

" _Hawkeye_ ," he groaned as he found her wet and waiting. She whimpered and ground hard against his hand. He met her there, sliding his hand against her mound. He shifted her damp underwear and slipped two fingers inside to part her lips. His fingers pressed against her opening and she met his eyes as he slipped them inside of her. Her mouth opened of its own accord as he began to slide them in and out. She had spent many nights with her fingers inside herself, pretending they were his, but that did not compare to reality. She gripped his arm, sure that her legs would betray her if she let go.

"You're so _good_ ," he said, and she laughed breathlessly. Heat pooled in her belly, and she ground hard against his fingers again. To her disappointment, he pulled them out of her, but tugged her underwear all the way down. The fingers that had been inside of her were slick against her skin.

"Sit on the edge of the bed," he murmured, and softly kissed her throat. "I want to try something."

Riza did as he said, and spread her legs in anticipation.

Roy grinned. "You're presumptuous."

"And you're taking too long."

He chuckled and knelt on the floor as she knew he would. She shivered as his tongue ran across the inside of her thigh. His fingers had been wonderful, but she needed more. She was soaking wet and needy, and she guided his head closer to where she wanted it. She gasped as he slipped his tongue into her folds. He lapped upwards, the tip of his tongue stopping just before he reached her clit. He licked her again, this time moving so that his tongue pressed against her entrance. She hooked her legs over his shoulders, allowing him better access as he pushed inside of her. She bit her lip hard to silence her moan as he began fucking her with his tongue. He was always clever with his words, so it was not surprising as he was equally silver-tongued between her legs.

"Move—" her voice broke into a gasp as his tongue swirled and against her entrance and plunged back inside. "Colonel, move up."

He withdrew his tongue and she felt him smile against her. She was close, so close, but she needed more.

"Ah!" she breathed as he sucked on her swollen clit. "Yes, like that."

The fingers that had been inside her crept back up, and she swallowed a desperate sob as he began to finger her again. The rhythm of his fingers inside her and his mouth against her clit was too much, and the pressure at her centre built quickly until it washed over her and she covered her mouth with her hand and threw back her head as she came hard, grinding herself against mouth. He removed his tongue and fingers and rubbed his palm against her mound, helping her ride through her orgasm.

She stayed with her head tilted back as she caught her breath. When she looked back, he was staring intently at her with his head resting against her sticky thigh. A bead of sweat curved between her breasts and he watched it hungrily.

"You're so beautiful," he said simply. His eyes were on her, and she could see her wetness glistening on her lips, and she was still sensitive and throbbing. Roy was between her legs, fuck, the Colonel. All at once, it was overwhelming and she slapped her hand against her mouth and she turned away with burning eyes.

"Hawkeye," he pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," her voice was muffled by her hand. "It's just—it's just a lot, I don't know how to explain it."

He stood up, and she rose with him, pulling him into an embrace. "I understand, I do."

"I don't know what will happen tomorrow," she murmured into his chest. "But tonight, I want you."

"You have me," he kissed her and she could taste herself on his lips.

"Good," she moved her hand down between his legs, where she found him half-hard below his underwear. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose as she rubbed him to attention. She pushed his underwear down and got on her knees, running her tongue against his length. He sighed as she took him in his mouth and curled his fingers in her hair. She began to suck him hard, running her tongue across his tip whenever she pulled away. Her cunt pulsed as he hissed his approval. She reached a hand between her legs, rubbing a finger against her clit. He began to shift his hips, gently fucking her mouth, and she could taste the salt of his pre-cum.

He groaned as she pulled away, and Riza smiled and wiped her lips. "Not yet. I want you inside me."

"I didn't exactly think to bring prophylactics to a safe house," he said, sheepishly.

"Just be careful, then."

No longer hesitating, Roy kissed her hard, and Riza laughed as they fell onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. His body was hot and heavy on hers, and she rubbed herself against the length of his erection, half a tease and half an invitation. As if in retaliation, he pressed the tip of his cock against her entrance, and he grinned as she whined in frustration. Squeezing her legs around his, she rolled them over so that she could straddle him. She met his eyes and lifted her hips, slowly lowering herself down onto him. Her eyes widened as he filled her, but she didn't—couldn't—look away from him. They stayed like that for a long moment, not moving, not speaking. It felt to Riza that the connection they had shared for so long had manifested in the form of their joint bodies. Finally, she began to move, and he followed.

Riza'd had sex with other people before, of course—lights off, shirt on— but this was different. She and Roy had always shared a feeling of intimacy, but this was a tenderness that they had never shared before. For a moment she began to feel the overwhelming sensation creep up again, but then Roy kissed her and it was chased away. She wasn't sure if she believed in a god, but the hot press of his lips against hers, and the pull of his hands in her hair felt holy.

She rolled her hips against him and leaned back, taking him deeper. His inky eyelashes fluttered and her pleasure increased with the realization that she was doing this to him. He moved his hand between them so that his fingers rubbed against her clit. She buried her face in his shoulder, and he laughed into her hair. Another rush of wetness emerged from her core and she could feel herself tightening around him. She grasped his free hand as her walls squeezed against his cock and she came again, biting her lip to swallow her moans.

"Hawkeye," Roy gasped, as her orgasm began to fade. "Hawkeye, I can't—"

Understanding, she lifted herself up so that Roy could pull out, and he came with a long groan as his seed spilled onto her belly.

They stayed that way for a while, chests heaving, until Roy rolled out from under her. He kissed her lips softly and disappeared into the adjoining bathroom, returning with a damp towel. He cheekily swiped the cloth between her legs where she was still sensitive, grinning as she muffled a yelp, and then wiped away the mess he had made on her. When he was done he climbed back into the bed and pulled her into his arms. They held each other close, and as strange and new as it was, it seemed perfectly right.

"R—Lieutenant," Roy whispered after a moment. "I know what you were going to say in the graveyard. I stopped you, but you really should know—"

"Don't, sir," she pressed her finger to his lips. They had crossed a line that night, but if he said those words they would be sent hurdling past the point of no return. "Don't say it now. Not yet."

He smiled, and pulled her closer, but his eyes were sad. "Don't forget your orders, then, so that I can say them one day."

"I won't forget, sir. But you wouldn't be a very good superior if you didn't follow them, too," she leaned over with a sigh and kissed his hair.

"We're going back to war, Lieutenant," he said. Even in the darkness she could see the sparks in his eyes. "Are you with me?"

"Always."


End file.
